One reader has asked if the fairer sex will be in attendance.
Theres 80 on the list at lust count :)
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Horses for Courses: Drugs, Bombs, Blood all great news for Cadel Evans
Le Tour is never boring.
What with ETA blasting away by the side of the road, Vinos elbow bandages hiding the track marks in his arms, Rasmussen doing a Tony Mokbel Contiki tour and failing to keep a diary and Moreni with more testosterone in his system than a Bulgarian Weightlifter, the fans of Cycling have never had their faith tested more than this 2007 tour.
All the cards are falling into the hands of Cadel Evans who is doing a Steven Bradbury and surely just needs Leipheimer to use one of Armstrongs old pair of Knicks for a fairy tale to come true!
The days of Cocaine and Methamphetamine are long gone and science is catching up with modern day cheats. It makes me wonder if we might be better off with Bidons full of Vin Rouge like the good old days.
Bring back the fixed wheel and lets turn the tour back into a gruelling slog when Opperman and Co. ruled the roads.
The need for speed has reached ridiculous proportions. Fuelled by the marketng dollar and the need for corporate profits.
There will be no drug testing on the Great Victorian Bicentennial Bike Ride Reinactment, well not by the organisers. What the Coppers do is out of our control. Besides I am sure most of you prefer your drugs in liquid form.
4 stages to go and then we will get down to some serious route discussion and of course trainig tips from our training master the Temora Tornado, whose prowess has never been disputed nor has he ever been swabbed by the stewards who would have found nothing anyway.
Three is still a chance that the winner of the Tour de France and the winner of the Melbourne Cup could come from the same stable! My spies inside the ICU say there are more riders under investigation!
What with ETA blasting away by the side of the road, Vinos elbow bandages hiding the track marks in his arms, Rasmussen doing a Tony Mokbel Contiki tour and failing to keep a diary and Moreni with more testosterone in his system than a Bulgarian Weightlifter, the fans of Cycling have never had their faith tested more than this 2007 tour.
All the cards are falling into the hands of Cadel Evans who is doing a Steven Bradbury and surely just needs Leipheimer to use one of Armstrongs old pair of Knicks for a fairy tale to come true!
The days of Cocaine and Methamphetamine are long gone and science is catching up with modern day cheats. It makes me wonder if we might be better off with Bidons full of Vin Rouge like the good old days.
Bring back the fixed wheel and lets turn the tour back into a gruelling slog when Opperman and Co. ruled the roads.
The need for speed has reached ridiculous proportions. Fuelled by the marketng dollar and the need for corporate profits.
There will be no drug testing on the Great Victorian Bicentennial Bike Ride Reinactment, well not by the organisers. What the Coppers do is out of our control. Besides I am sure most of you prefer your drugs in liquid form.
4 stages to go and then we will get down to some serious route discussion and of course trainig tips from our training master the Temora Tornado, whose prowess has never been disputed nor has he ever been swabbed by the stewards who would have found nothing anyway.
Three is still a chance that the winner of the Tour de France and the winner of the Melbourne Cup could come from the same stable! My spies inside the ICU say there are more riders under investigation!
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Stewie cant laugh or shit but he still has a sense of humour
Injuries are worse than first reported:
3 Broken verterbra
8 Cracked Ribs
1 Broken Shoulder
1 Punctured Lung
Multiple grazes and bruises.
Cadel Evans is on fire and Gerrans continues to enjoy the pain.
Bring on the Pyrenees!
3 Broken verterbra
8 Cracked Ribs
1 Broken Shoulder
1 Punctured Lung
Multiple grazes and bruises.
Cadel Evans is on fire and Gerrans continues to enjoy the pain.
Bring on the Pyrenees!
Monday, July 16, 2007
"ABANDON" All Fall Down Go BOOM!
Well Robbie McEwans case o the sads culminated in his DNF. If he hadnt been such a firely little Bastard throughout his Tours de France, LeBlanc might have pulled out the well used catagorie extrodinaire from his biased cheese eating surrender monkey bag of tricks and let Robbie continue. Somehow I feel McEwans heart just wasnt in it.
A sad way to end what might have been his last tour.
Stewie, never one to do things by halves remains in le`ospital with 5 broken ribs, a dislocated shoulder and a punctured lung. Good one Stewie, luv ya mate!
That could well be the end for him also.
Mick Rogers, well I told ya to eat more! A loss of concerntration and le bonk ends up with a dislocated shoulder, a clip on the chin and a bung knee and a stuffed hand. He could have gone over the guard rail but David Arroyo the prick had already done that and ultimately caused Mick to crash out!
Heroically he got his arse back on the saddle, rejoined but as the blood filled all of those bruises, mild shock developed and all over red rover. Yellow Jersey on the road when he retired, no doubt he wil return in 2008 hongey for an overall win.
A gutsy effort to try and continue.
Simon Gerrans remains, chatting up the locals and enjoying Le Tour whilst Cadel Evans who as a former Mountain Bike rider is "certifiable" has the hopes of a nation on his shoulders. He could do anyting! Only time will tell.
We done all that and more on the great Australian Bicentennial Bike Ride, with no sleep, no food and a gut full of grog. So theyre all weak as piss!
Friday, July 13, 2007
Dodgy Kebab hits Brett Lancaster
Theres nothing worse than a dose of the shits to give you the shits, especially when your arse is tied to the saddle in Le Tour.
600 people from 1988 feel your pain Brett!
Who could forget the stagnat piles of crap in the dunnies without water to flush them during the first week of the Great Australian Bicentennial Bike Ride?
The stench, flies and sight has stayed with me for life. The flashbacks are a terrifying thing. Id sue if that bastard organiser hadnt dropped dead from a heart attack!
Anyway its good news so far, no one is neighing like a horse so far and only one drug failure for being 300 nanograms over the 1000 nanogram limit for salbutimol or whatever its called.
A nanogram is exactly one millionth of a bees dick, so the Commisaires are taking no chances this year.
Someome needs to feed a dodgy kebab to Zabel, hes already proving to be a pain in the sprints!
600 people from 1988 feel your pain Brett!
Who could forget the stagnat piles of crap in the dunnies without water to flush them during the first week of the Great Australian Bicentennial Bike Ride?
The stench, flies and sight has stayed with me for life. The flashbacks are a terrifying thing. Id sue if that bastard organiser hadnt dropped dead from a heart attack!
Anyway its good news so far, no one is neighing like a horse so far and only one drug failure for being 300 nanograms over the 1000 nanogram limit for salbutimol or whatever its called.
A nanogram is exactly one millionth of a bees dick, so the Commisaires are taking no chances this year.
Someome needs to feed a dodgy kebab to Zabel, hes already proving to be a pain in the sprints!
Monday, July 9, 2007
Le Tour de France
Fortunately we have Le Tour to keep us interested during these winter months. The opportunity to fill the biddon with Vin Rouge, lay out the crash mats and hook up the bike to the trainer!
Stage one: the Prologue in London was a nice way to spend a late saturday night taking in the sights of London without watching your Aussie dollar reduced to 35p.
Stage two: ROBBIE MCEWAN you fucking beauty, overcame crashes, punctures and a bad attitude to claim the first victory in a full days racing.
There are more Aussies than ever before in this years tour and no doubt we will see a half dozen or more Aussie sage wins throughout July.
So take those sickies you have stored up, make those half day annual leave days count and enjoy the most spectacular of sporting events outside of The Great Bicentennial Bike Ride Reinactment!
Stage one: the Prologue in London was a nice way to spend a late saturday night taking in the sights of London without watching your Aussie dollar reduced to 35p.
Stage two: ROBBIE MCEWAN you fucking beauty, overcame crashes, punctures and a bad attitude to claim the first victory in a full days racing.
There are more Aussies than ever before in this years tour and no doubt we will see a half dozen or more Aussie sage wins throughout July.
So take those sickies you have stored up, make those half day annual leave days count and enjoy the most spectacular of sporting events outside of The Great Bicentennial Bike Ride Reinactment!
Friday, June 29, 2007
The Root , updated.
During the second half of 2007 we will be adding photos of the route, courtesy of Google Earth just to let you see what has changed.
The paddocks from Dandenong to Warragul have largley been replaced with a landscape of houses, bereft of trees as the urban sprawl takes over.
Infact I think you will notice quite a bit of change around the cities and towns but FEAR NOT! the bush is still the same old bush!
Good news!!!! We have a tour theme song for 2008! courtesy of The Corrs.
Im too shy to leap onto the stage, however you can see little Micks Aussie flag waving proudly in this video!
What can I say? "Negotiations are underway and are at a delicate stage".
The Corrs might not ride bikes from Melbourne to Siddeney, but they may well be there at the end for you!
mickkkkkkkkkkkk
The paddocks from Dandenong to Warragul have largley been replaced with a landscape of houses, bereft of trees as the urban sprawl takes over.
Infact I think you will notice quite a bit of change around the cities and towns but FEAR NOT! the bush is still the same old bush!
Good news!!!! We have a tour theme song for 2008! courtesy of The Corrs.
Im too shy to leap onto the stage, however you can see little Micks Aussie flag waving proudly in this video!
What can I say? "Negotiations are underway and are at a delicate stage".
The Corrs might not ride bikes from Melbourne to Siddeney, but they may well be there at the end for you!
mickkkkkkkkkkkk
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Australian Bicentennial Bike Ride 1988/2008: 20 years on, ITS BACK!
Australian Bicentennial Bike Ride 1988/2008: 20 years on, ITS BACK!
Now I dont want you all peaking too early...........nothing worse than that! But heres a little reminder.....notice I kept the name blank. You never know when you might need some cash and have to hock it on ebay!
Even though computers hadnt been invented in 1988, I was planning for retirement :)
Remember: "Happiness is a cold toilet seat"!
If you dont remember this hit, you werent in any of the pubs!
Saturday, March 10, 2007
20 years on, ITS BACK!
The two Micks proudly present....................for your entertainment
THE GREAT AUSTRALIAN BICENTENNIAL BIKE RIDE REINACTMENT
THE LOCK UP YOUR DAUGHTERS AND LEAVE YOUR WIVES AT HOME TOUR
Well you bastards, your body is 20 years older, but heres hoping your liver aint!
Its back, were back! We gunna do it all again!
Same time, same place, just 20 years later!
NO FLIES! No rules!, no disgusting dunnies! No sad wagon! No Apples, No Queues! NO FLIES!
Im gunna get it happening. I want all 600 Yanks back in full force!
All thats required is your arse in Dandenong in November 2008!
I will be posting pics from all those years ago soon. I want your pics and stories too!
It was a life changing event for all of us. Who can forget the yank that broke his hip on the first day when changing his shirt? or the lost luggage?, the mighty "Hec", the Coppers, the locals, the lifts, the Trains, Planes and Automobiles!
The BellBird Pub!, the Top Pub, The Bottom Pub, The Middle Pub, The other Pub, The rain, The floods, the rain and more fuckin rain!..
Yes the Dangerous Brothers will be back! Gelnn has been rescued from the AMWAY rehabilitation centre............. Big Mick will be tracked down at all costs........Little Mick is returning from the Daintree....Tex is on board.........the Canadians are keen as mustard..........Mother Theresa will have her special Thermos........Rocked Rod is escaping from the retirement villiage.
This time its gunna be dry and..............I promise a tail wind! tail wind! Yes fuckin tail wind!
So get on the ode cologne, get those old addy books out, dig out all those old roots, find those old piccies!
There might be 3000, there might be 300, but its definately a goer!
Watch this space, save that cash, grow those crops, book those holidays!
Who could forget this Jukebox classic from the ride?
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